


I Still Remember You

by Kenny0550



Category: EXO
Genre: Angst, M/M, Slight touching, i don't know how to tag, somewhat pg13?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 08:52:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9598220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenny0550/pseuds/Kenny0550
Summary: “So..” Jongdae said, voice slightly higher than normal. Baekhyun looked at him, realizing that the younger's eyes were already on him, looking at him, expecting something.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fanfiction.. and it's also a different style than what I usually do..! So please forgive me for any errors!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> \------  
> No matter how hard I try to write a prequel to this- I cannot seem to write it without being unhappy with the end result. So, forgive me. If you have any questions to the ending feel free to contact. 
> 
> As well as constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Baekyun's usually not one to forget things. In fact, he prided himself with his photographic memory which landed him his job as a secretary in the top modelling business in Korea. Which, ideally wasn't what he wanted but it gave him enough money to support Jongdae and him. As a bonus, it wasn't nearly as stressful as being a model or CEO.

Even with his memory, Baekhyun knew he was forgetting something. He felt something fill up his lungs and settle in a spot near his sternum, which was uncomfortable, and even when he shifted in his desk chair it doesn't lighten up. It still bothered him when he finally slipped out of work at a relatively early time. The sudden temperature drop broke his thoughts. He shivered as he felt the wind slip past his thick winter coat. The wind seemed to pick up just after he was able to flag down a taxi and climb inside. Baekhyun mumbled out his address as his teeth chattered. He tried to rub his fingers together to produce any sort of friction but gave up when Jongdae and his complex came into view. ‘ _Weird,_ ’ he thought as he felt the horrible feeling bubble up in his chest again. He ignored it it best as he could as Baekhyun fingered through his wallet. He poked and prodded until he found a crumpled twenty. When he exited the vehicle, the rush of cold made him grab onto his coat and stagger as he made it the lobby doors in one piece.

It was only when Baekhyun made his way up into the complex, keys being shoved back into his pocket before he entered and froze at the sight. The smell of fresh food assaulted his nose and the feeling from earlier came back, but worse. He knew that he forgot something - but what? His coat felt heavy on his shoulder as he shrugged it off. He tossed it loosely on their coat rack before he slipped off his shoes and cautiously walked inside, his eyes roamed the place. It was a lot cleaner then when he had left and it made him nervous because they never clean unless family is coming over. He felt his face scrunch up involuntary as his mind scrambled, he racked his brain trying to figure out what he had missed. However, he wasn't able to finish his thought as a familiar voice interrupted his and he immediately snapped his head to look up at Jongdae.

“Welcome home,” he heard Jongdae whisper happily. The smile on his face was warm and Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile softly back at him as warmth flooded his chest. He felt the other wrap his arms around his torso and nudged his face into his chest. Almost mechanically, Baekhyun hugged Jongdae back.

“Hey,” he whispered back before he felt Jongdae let go.

“So..” Jongdae said, voice slightly higher than normal. Baekhyun looked at him then realized that the younger's eyes were already on him, looking at him, epecting something. Baekhyun nervously looked around, trying to see if anything could even give him a hint as to what he had missed. His eyes trailed back to Jongdae when he hears a small “oh” escape his boyfriends lips. The once hopeful look was quickly replaced with sheer disappointment and a slump of his shoulders. The sight made him feel guilty, and he desperately tried to search through his memory, to scrap up anything to wipe that dejected look off of his boyfriend’s face, but came up with nothing. Until his eyes crane down to his shirt, realization dawned upon him - because that's the shirt Baekhyun gave him for their one year anniversary.

“I just thought..” He heard Jongdae whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. Making him instantly feel ten times worse than before.

Baekhyun closed the distant between Jongdae and him, lips crashed together until he felt Jongdae relax against him. He released their lips, before he leaned his forehead against Jongdae’s, a content smile on his face. “Happy Anniversary,” he whispered, watching as Jongdae's face turn from a confused stare into small crescents as he hit Baekhyun playfully on the arm.

“Jerk, you had me thinking you forgot!” He replied, his teeth evident in his smile.

“When have I ever let you down?” Baekhyun replied, a little breathless from their kiss.

Something lodged in his throat; Jongdae looked weirdly at him, expression unreadable. He was about to open his mouth when the smoke alarm went off, forcing Jongdae to make a quick dash to save their food.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, This is the Byun resident, leave- Jongdae what are you-”  
“-Soon to be Kim”  
“Wait, wha-”  
(Beep)

 

“Hey, it’s Chanyeol… You should change your voicemail Baek, it still has-.. You two have broken-.. Anyway.. How have you been? Have you checked your messages lately? Everyone's trying to get a hold of you, you've become quite the talk since Jongdae-..  
Anyway, call me back.”  
(Beep)

 

“He's hitting on you?” Jongdae slurred from beside him, and Baekhyun rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's jealousy. It happened before - where Jongdae drank and he became overprotective, so much that it made Baekhyun feel a little awkward in public -and turned him on but that's aside from the point.

“It's fine,” he leaned onto Jongdae's shoulder, shifted to his side before he lightly nipped at Jongdae’s collarbone in hopes to distract the male. He heard his boyfriend’s breathing hitch and it's only encouragement before he sucked a light bruise there.

“Everyone already knows I’m yours,” he replied a little breathlessly when he felt Jongdae's hands sneak under his shirt. He teased the waistband of his jeans. He felt his eyes flutter close, a small gasp escaped his lips before he bites his chapped lips. He hoped to stifle any sounds because they’re in public - where everyone could see him pop a boner. A little part of him finds it exhilarating though - to know that they could get easily get caught or even kicked out.

“We should probably go..” he heard Jongdae mutter out, and he knew that he was just as affected.

Baekhyun nodded in response. They’re both getting up and leaving now, the cool air of outside shocked him and caused goosebumps to rise along his arms. Jongdae doesn't seem too bothered by it, and he mentally cursed as he thought that he should’ve brought a jacket like Jongdae had. Baekhyun quickly forgets the cold when he registered the warm fingers that trail softly at his arm before he was yanked to the side. He's more than startled when he realized that it was not Jongdae.

“Wha-” his voice was cut off when he's tugged back into the safety of Jongdae's arms. It took Baekhyun a couple of seconds to realize that Jongdae left his coat with him, for him to see the other man stumble towards the drunken male who had pulled Baekhyun away from Jongdae. He glanced warily. The intoxicated man was tall with nearly a foot on Jongdae and at least twenty pounds.

“Jongdae! D-Don't! Stop!” He felt panic rise in his throat because it's more than apparent that the fight could easily turn bad.

Jongdae had already swung an arm and it hits the other man in the gut. Baekhyun dropped Jongdae's coat and rushed to stop the fight before it escalated further. There's a deafening crack and Baekhyun staggered back, hands across his nose. He felt a warm liquid seep between his fingers and onto the ground. That seemed to stop the fight because Jongdae fell back and turned to him. Repeatedly apologizing and begging for him to get it checked out.

It turned out that his nose was broken, but it didn’t matter - not when Baekhyun had Jongdae there for him.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is C-Rock, if i'm not here i'm probably in the studio. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I have time… maybe.”  
(Beep)

“It wasn't intentional, you know that, Yeol. We were outside that bar, it's not his fault. … Why are you always trying to find a reason for me to hate him? You know I can't, not since everything we've been through... Are you acting like this because you used to like me..?”  
(Beep)

 

Chanyeol was over, cuddled up to Baekhyun’s side as they watched the avengers together; a tradition they had always shared since high school. It has been a while since they last did this. ’Maybe it's been too long’, Baekhyun thought as he scanned over Chanyeol's aged face.

He rested his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. He heard an audible hitch in his breathing that caused him to move back, worried eyes scanned over Chanyeol as he watched him. “I'm sorry,” Baekhyun mumbled out, guilt from the message finally crashed down. The only sign that Baekhyn got was a small nod. He almost let out a low grumble in annoyance because Chanyeol has always done this. He always let Baekhyun share his feelings but Chayeol never said how he felt - and it was really starting to piss him off.

“You’re over thinking things again.” He heard Chanyeol’s deep voice and he glared daggers at him, a frown played on his lips. He hated how Chanyeol always knew Baekhyun’s moods even before he did. He hated how Chanyeol can just glance at him and know almost exactly what he's thinking and it pissed him off.

Baekhyun clutched the blanket in his hands and for the first time he felt the need to get away from Chanyeol. He slipped past the male and into the kitchen, rummaged around the cupboard, before he found the pills he was looking for.  
He grabbed one then decided against it and takes two. He felt a migraine coming and he knew it was going to be a bad one if he were to judge by the thrum in his head already.

“I thought you stopped taking those..” It startled Baekhyun when he heard Chanyeol beside him. When did he even move from the couch?

“You thought wrong. Besides... it's just for the headaches” He mumbled as he slipped the pills inside his mouth and swallowed them dry. Chanyoel doesn’t meet Baekhyun's gaze and he almost scoffed. Chanyeol was supposed to cheer him up, not stress him out more.

“Please leave. Jongdae is going to be home soon.” He said as he ignored the confused look Chanyeol gave him.

“But the movie..” He gestured to the unfinished Avengers movie.

“We'll finish it later” He replied as he watched Chanyeol gather his stuff. Chanyeol shot Baekhyun a worried look before he left. Something like relief left his chest.  Baekhyun scrunched his eyebrows together, unsure why he felt like he’s forgotten something.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, This is the Byun resident, you- Jongdae what are you-”  
“-Soon to be Kim”  
“Wait, wha-”  
(Beep)

 

“Hey, this is Yixing... I’m going to stop by tomorrow, okay? Everyone at the studio's worried sick Byun..  
Have you eaten yet? I know it's only been a week since he left you but.. we're..”  
(beep)

 

He was lured awake by the smell of food and then by the sound of knocks on his door. He mentally grumbled when he realized it's barely past ten, two hours earlier then when he would normally get up at. Baekhyun silently swore when the knocking became more persistent and he's forced out of his cocoon of warmth.

It startled him to see Yixing on the other end of the door, who looked happy before the man's eyes trail over Baekhyun's frame and the shock is evident on his face.

“What are you doing here?” He said much sharper then he had meant to. He watched the way Yixing flinched back and he muttered an apology before he let Yixing in.

He tapped his fingers to a tune on his thigh - something he has always done when he was nervous. Yixing scanned the room. It was a mess, he knew, but if Yixing had noticed it, he didn’t say anything.

“I brought you food,” Yixing said finally as he lifted a styrofoam container. Baekhyun can't help but shift slightly to the side, as he felt awkward. “It's hot pot, I know you like it, so..” Yixing's words eventually die off. He gave a small smile before he put the food in a small bowl and heated it up in the microwave. The sound of the microwave is the only thing that filled the silence before it beeped, indicating that it was done. Baekhyun looked away, eyes trailed on the counter.

“You know..” He heard Yixing say and it sounded deafening to his ears. “We're all here for you, I know breakups are bad but-…” the words trailed off, and Baekhyun can feel eyes on him.

“Thanks,” is all he was able to muster out though, because how could he tell his friends? How could he tell him that Jongdae was back with him, that he's just angry because he let it happen? That he wasn't a good enough boyfriend?

Yixing stayed and chatted for a bit. All updates on the studio and how everyone has been and Baekhyun tried his hardest to listen. He hoped his smile was convincing enough and his eyes don't give him away. Yixing left a little while after and Baekhyun can't help but look at the hot pot.

He didn’t like hot pot that much, It was always Jongdae's favourite. Baekhyun takes a little spoonful of it, face already turning to one of disgust but then he takes another spoonful. ‘It’s not bad,’ he thinks. In time, he knew he could learn to love it. He took another sip.

 

* * *

 

 

 “This is Yixing. I think you’re supposed to leave a message here? I kinda forgot what this was for...”  
(beep)

 

“Hey, thanks for stopping by... I.. really needed a friend, thanks. … Yixing.. I…”

(beep)

 

“Hey, This is the Byun resident, you- Jongdae what are you-”  
“-Soon to be Kim”  
“Wait, wha-”  
(Beep)

 

“It's Suho, I think the boss is missing your witty comments already, i think everyone is. Will we see you tomorrow? It's all work now and no play.. Anyway, I’ll book another week off for you.. okay?”  
(Beep)

 

He's not sure which part of him thought this was a good idea, his toes are probably frozen off by now. Which wouldn't surprise him, he lost feeling in them ages ago. It's around noon, and he should've been at work hours ago, and not standing outside the door as he froze his ass off now.

He's about to turn around but stopped when he heard a familiar voice. “Baekhyun? What are you doing here?” It's Luhan, one of Kris' top models. He mentally cursed at himself for not leaving earlier.

“I was.. in the neighbourhood, I thought I would stop by..” He mumbled out as he felt slightly stupid.

“The door’s unlocked.. you could have just..” the model replied in slightly accented Korean before he glanced back. He looked at the male knowingly, “It's okay..”

Baekhyun glanced away as he felt his face flush with shame. “You wanted to see everyone, right?” Luhan said quietly and Baekhyun noded. Luhan gently grabbed his wrist as he lead the reluctant male inside.

Everyone gave him warm smiles, a vast comparison to the pitying looks his friends gave him when they first found out. To be honest, it's a change he didn’t know he needed.

Bakehyun talked to his co-workers when he realized he had missed out on so much. Luhan and the other model, Sehun, had begun dating, which he got more detail of than he wanted, and Suho and Kris began dating, which really wasn't news when he could see it a mile away. It refreshed him to not have his co-workers worry about him and for the first time since Jongdae left, Baekyun found himself smiling.

It took a while for him to get used to his desk again. Sticky notes of messages practically littered his desk. They’re mainly filled with encouraging messages, or previous assignments he wasn’t able to finish before he left. A note on the top of his notebook caught his eyes though, and it completely wipes the smile off of his face. Jongdae’s writing was clear and percise. For a split second, Baekhyun felt his heart stop.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, This is the Byun resident, you- Jongdae what are you-”  
“-Soon to be Kim”  
“Wait, wha-”  
(Beep)

 

“Hey.. been a while, right..? Haha.. I’m horrible at this whole voicemail thing... Baek.. I love you, never forget that, okay? But you need to move on, we both do... A part of me actually wonders if you listen to these, because if you do.. god.. Baek, please change your voicemail. I love you, but you need to let go, okay?”  
(Beep)

 

Baekhyun hit replay one more time, tears streamed down his face as Jongdae’s voice was loud and clear through the voicemail.

 

* * *

 

It's their last date night. The way Jongdae is acting is an immediate red flag to him. They've been together for nearly a decade, and.. Baekhyun wasn’t entirely sure how to function without him. Though, he stole a glance at Jongdae, who smiled contentedly, he'll take what he can get. It's their third restaurant that night. This waitress doesn't seem too bothered by the two men and gets their meal delivered right away. The quietness in Jongdae's voice is still alarming him and Baekhyun doesn't know how he feels about it.

“You know..” he rested his hands on the male's hands, “you shouldn't worry too much about-…” he gestured to the crowd of hungry people. “If they don't like us being together because their homophobic, well-..” He licked his chapped lips, “Sucks for them I guess.” Pulling his hands back, before grabbing another forkful of food.

Maybe it was the lighting or the heavy workload Jongdae has, but his eyes seem much more tired than usual and it doesn't help that his cheekbones look as sharp as ever, maybe a little too sharp. Baekhyun snuck a worried glance to his boyfriend, before grabbing another bite of his meal. Noticing Jongdae was not eating and it concerned him more. “Hey..” He said, kicking Jongdae's shin under the table. “I’m here for you,” he trailed off before adding, “If you need.”

Jongdae smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and Baekhyun took it personally. He slowly excused himself to the bathroom, trying his hardest not to cry or rip his hair out because in some weird way, it feels like this relationship was falling apart or that he's losing Jongdae. Composing himself, Baekhyun then walked back out to their table where he found that the waitress has already cleared it.

“Excuse me,” He began. Trying to not sound annoyed. “My boyfriend and I were still eating.” He said a little louder and suddenly her face was flushed red as she glanced back to their table, where Jongdae was getting up from, and watching Baekhyun with pitying eyes.

“S-sorry..” she stuttered. “I can go get your plates again or reorder your food-” She began again, but Baekhyun held up a hand, gesturing her to stop. He grasped Jongdae’s hand, paying for their meal at the door before leaving angrily.

It’s cold outside, far too cold for November, Baekhyun thought as he felt the anger boil inside of him. “Honestly, why did she clear our table? It was obvious that we were still eating,” He stopped walking for a second, laughter bubbling to escape. “Oh god, what if she was uncomfortable, Jongdae? Maybe she.. she was slightly homophobic, or a customer got weirded out..” he trailed off, still angry with the waitress.

Baekhyun glanced worringly over at Jongdae who hasn't said much at all this evening. A sudden gust of wind had Baekhyun forgetting his trail of thought. His body involuntarily shivered as he began patting the side of his pockets when he found what he was looking for. Baekhyun unfolded the knitted mittens, handing one to Jongdae. He glanced up, surprised to see the latter staring at him, a small smile smile on his face and Baekhyun returned it. They continued walking and Baekhyun suddenly felt like a teenager in love again. “Hey Jongdae?” he whispered. Feeling the other male squeeze his hands around his. “I still love you..” He whispered, loud enough for the other to hear, before glancing up at the night sky.

To others, it would seem odd for someone to be talking to the air as if someone was with them.


End file.
